Too real now

This arrived in the mail today from one of my aunt's in MA and though I have been waiting for it since it was promised to me as a child, actually holding it my hands makes my Nana's death that much more real all over again. This was her mother/daughter ring or at least that's what I knew it as and I don't think during my childhood that I had ever seen her without it. I remember vividly our little ritual of my asking her to tell me whose stone belonged to who. Of course it is only the smaller stones of the grandchildren along with the larger stone that belongs to my mother that I could name now. Living this far away allows me the privilege of living in denial as I do not have to face it every day like the rest of my family in the north does. I remember as a kid (and even a little as an adult) believing she would live forever, possibly longer than the rest of us. She was a force to be reckoned with that is for sure and I just knew that she would go down kicking and probably with a cigarette in her hand. Towards the end of her life, our relationship was strained due to the manipulation and dishonesty of my mother and I will live have to live with that regret but I know with everything that I am that she remained my greatest champion and biggest fan. I miss her terribly.